I'd had serious relationships before meeting my fiancé, with a couple
lasting for years. I thought I was an adult; I thought I knew how to be
a great girlfriend. Meeting someone I had a serious connection with
taught me that nothing I had experienced before was real. True love
feels different than casual relationships -- even if those relationships
lasted for years (which is usually well past their expiration date!).
When you're in a good relationship, you learn things. You act
differently and you think as part of a team -- not as an individual
making their way through the world. You'll be more understanding and
accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them,
like you may have with past relationships.
1. Misunderstandings are inevitable.
Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner's words
one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don't punish
him or her. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to
bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later.
Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you'll get
frustrated that your partner doesn't understand. Take a step back and
realize it's not a big deal. Misunderstandings only become problems if
you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your
relationship. Be laid-back and forgive misunderstandings.
2. Trust.
You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with
someone when you think they're doing something wrong every time you turn
your back? If you don't trust your partner to be faithful, honest,
caring or anything else, then you're not in a good relationship. The
best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up
(and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.
3. Let yourselves miss each other.
You're in love, so you want to be together all the time! It's so fun to
cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to
experience different things? When you go to separate work places or
schools, you're experiencing things that will give you something to talk
about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends
time with theirs, then you're having time and space to yourself, then
coming back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each
other, and it helps you really understand the value of your
relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after
that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.
4. Encourage growth and change.
In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change.
You have one life to live -- you should explore it to the fullest! If
you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should
support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something
old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give
this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and
interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the
same, you're going to have a very boring life together.
5. Compromising doesn't mean you're weak.
Compromising doesn't mean "giving in." It doesn't mean that you lost the
fight. In fact, it's the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to
compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and
makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions.
Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What's the
logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don't be afraid to say so.
Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half.
The important thing is not getting your way, it's staying in your
relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your
relationship grow.
6. Admit your weaknesses.
Your partner doesn't expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you
don't expect that of them! We're all human; we all have flaws. It's OK
to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you
need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more
sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas
where you need some help.
7. Sometimes you can only accept things, not fix them.
People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go
back and erase all of this? Nope! You're stuck with it, and have to
learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others,
but the reality is that sometimes, you can't fix things. You can't make
problems go away. You have to accept it and get over it and move on, or
else your relationship will crumble.
8. Forgive quickly and truly.
Whenever you have a fight, don't worry about who wins or who loses.
Learn from the fight -- from what was said as much as from how it was
resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your
relationship to avoid trouble later. That's all well and good, but
you're not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is
over, you're past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your
partner, because the resentment will build until you don't want to be
with them.
9. Never expect anything.
Don't expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast
in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It's not going to happen. You
can't expect anything from anyone -- you have to make your desires
known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from
the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues.
This will help them act considerate towards you, but still -- don't
expect anything!
10. Show your feelings.
The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don't tease
your partner; don't "reward" good deeds with love and affection. You
have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with
them or be mad at them -- it doesn't matter -- they just need to feel
loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don't get
me wrong. But make sure you're showing your feelings in a way so they
won't be misunderstood (back to #1!).
SOURCE
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-renner/when-youre-in-a-good-relationship-you-learn-these-10-things_b_5618826.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
me;Some of the point applied in human-relationship (perhubungan sesama manusia)
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